


Solitude

by berrysoda



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: I cried writing this tbh, It's obikin if you want to believe it is, Multi, Suicidal Thoughts, i love suffering, it was 2 am oh boi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 20:59:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6582214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/berrysoda/pseuds/berrysoda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post Mustafar + flashbacks and overall just a lot of Obi Angst.<br/>It was 2 am and I saw sad Obikin headcanons. I love suffering.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Solitude

**Author's Note:**

> Did I mention that I love suffering? :)

          He didn't think it would hurt this much. Granted, maybe it had taken a while for it to settle in do to shock, but he felt the searing, heated snap of their bond break back on — back on Mustafar.

 

          The first time, it was a mere second after Obi-Wan had incapacitated Anakin by cutting of his legs. The second time, it was more excruciatingly painful because for the first time in his life he felt the pure loathing Anakin had suddenly directed at him as he screamed “I hate you!” while the fiery heat engulfed him from the bottom up. Anakin had tried to claw his way up the bank of the river of lava and for a split second as they looked at each other, Obi-Wan saw the pain in his eyes and the silent plea for help.

 

          But of course that moment was short lived and Anakin was lost again this time, it seemed, for forever in a pit of fury and blind animosity. Obi-Wan could not subject himself to this tragic sight any long. He had spoke his mind, distraught and full of grief and suffering. Full of tears and confusion and an ingrained feeling of guilt, he made his way back to the ship, with his fallen friend’s beloved whom he wished better for and had he known the exact outcome of these predicaments, he would have helped her more than what was required of him. The conspiracy, the hidden tyranny, the fall of all he knew well and had grown himself from.

 

          And here he was now, he had hidden the children for their own safety from Anakin himself, their own father. A disaster this was, but he could not dwell on it he wouldn't, he shouldn't. If he did so much as dwell on one memory; one emotion, he was afraid he would never be able to contain his grief after that. He was afraid he would never stop crying. Truly he felt like dying. The pain was almost unbearable yet how funny he found it that there were no more than a few scratches on him. Most of his pain came from his heart.

 

          He failed.

 

          He could not hold it in any longer.

 

          He had tried. He had failed to.

 

          And he cried. He cried for the whole of the Republic, he cried for the Jedi order, he cried for his close friends, Padme, everyone he had lost along the way through his, seemingly useless now, devoted way of living, but most of all, he cried for Anakin. Oh, the pain he endured and yet he still smiled afterwards, even if it was forced. Not this time. This time he knew for a fact he would never be able to truly smile again.

 

 _Oh, Anakin. Where did I go wrong._ He thought to himself.

 

_I’m so sorry._

 

          He loved him. He felt guilty for this and he loved him. More than friends, more than brothers, more than lovers there were no true words to describe how much he loved Anakin. Even as he left him burning on Mustafar. He loved him.

 

          And now? As he sat in his new dwelling for what would most likely be for the remainder of his days?

 

          Now.

 

          Now, he still loved him.

 

          Nothing would change that. It was love ingrained in him like the same feeling of guilt too. Yes, the bond was broken, but the love had stayed and the pain and sorrow had just increased ten fold.

 

          He loves him.

 

He cries in his days of solitude.

 

          He loves him.

 

He screams in his days of solitude.

 

           _I love him._

 

He is numb now in his days of solitude. The love is still there.

**Author's Note:**

> you can come yell at me via my tumblr if you want  
> tumblr: obidaddykenobi.tumblr.com


End file.
